How could you not?? No excuse is acceptable

I often sit and look at my kids while they are at play, working on school, eating, or just sleeping. One lives away with her Mom so time is valuable, one isn't "biologically mine" and the other is my mini-me. I wonder how the world looks to them and I try my best to remember how much the little things matter when you are a child. Can we go swimming? Can we have junk food for a meal? Can I have this or that at the store? My tummy hurts, my homework is too hard! So and so at school said this or said that? ( I have two girls and believe me the peers opinion is very important to them). Can we stay up late? All these are very very meaningful things to children and make for quite dramatic moments.
I always try to listen and always try to make myself available, although with the girls it is tough as they don't open up much, and well the little one thinks the whole world was created for his amusement. But I always try to make sure they know that I LOVE THEM!!
I live life a little close to the edge what with my love for two-wheeled death machines, and a penchant for alcohol, but if I should leave tomorrow or today my children will know that I love them. My wife and my ex-wife will testify to my undying love for my kids.
It is the cross that I bear, I will make sure my kids know that their Daddy loves them very much. I guess it stems from my own childhood when I spent the better part of 20 years only knowing for sure that there was one person who loved me. My mother..So many days spent questioning why? Through painful days of emotional abuse by my step-father and by complete and utter abandon by my bio-father. They say the guilt of his addiction/lifestyle kept him away, well that is complete BULLSHIT. NOTHING WOULD KEEP ME FROM MY KIDS...NOTHING. I made my peace with dear old Dad before the Reaper claimed his tainted soul, and the step-dad I abandoned him much like my father did me. Now some will say he kept in touch, a birthday card every now and again, a visit to cry on my Mother's shoulder, and him and my oldest sister stayed close. But for all intents and purposes he gave me up to the wind. How could you do that? Now that my son is 2 years old I have yet to spend a night away from him, I will not let him spend the night at grandma's because I never want him to awaken and not know that his Daddy is more than a few feet away. How could you not???No excuse is acceptable...I fell in love with my babies the second they were born and I will never ever use any excuse for not doing my part and being in their lives no matter what the cost...