39 years don't feel so old..

Well I turned 39 today. Yippee!?!?! Well not really, I am just happy to have made it this far. I have traveled the world, gone through the most wicked of divorce's, fallen in love at first sight 3 times (birth of my oldest daughter, meeting my current wife, and the birth of my son). Flirted with death a couple of times, and had tons of fun. Yet I still feel that I haven't done enough in my 39 years. I think that if I died today I would have so much left undone, yet I think of a person who died just about 9 months short of their 39th, and I try to put myself in that person's shoes and think how short her life really was. About all the things she longed to see (travel more, grandbabies, weddings, graduations) and I seem to remember this person staring death in the face for over 2 years and going toe to toe with the OLE' Reaper and holding her own. How brave to know you are going to die(very soon I might add, not years away or not knowing when) and deep down inside knowing you cannot win the fight, but fighting the good fight never the less. Never showing your weakness to the ones who need you most. I have outlived my mother and some would say she deserved wayyyy better than I, but like the song says " The good die young" never a truer word was said. I hope there is an afterlife because I want to see her face again, to hold her hand, to tell her all about what she missed. But if there is just black emptiness and a cold dark ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Then I will say it now. I love you Mama and I have missed you EVERYDAY SINCE JANUARY 15th 1985. But I would not have my family and children if you had of made it past 39 and I know now that we weren't punished by your leaving so soon, I have traveled, cheated death, fallen in love and am truly now in the calm of my life all because you were taken away. My path was altered by your passing and now I see it all so clear. 38 years was long enough for you to put us on our way.. Your work was done, thanks. 39 ain't so old and I can't wait for 40...